Friday, April 14, 2017

Hard and Heavy Burden

I'm taking a break from the journal this week. I hope you don't mind! As Easter Sunday creeps up on us, I am continuely reminded of my Savior and what He has done for us! I know that is not the origin of Easter, but christians have come to celebrate our risen Savior on this day. I hope you enjoy this post!

"God, why is this so hard?" "Why does this have to be so hard?" "why must this burden me so?" "Why is this so heavy Lord?" I ask my Father as I struggle seemingly in vain to find His will for my life.
"Hard?" He asks scoldingly. " You think this is hard?"
Pictures of all He has done for me surface in my mind. This was hard.
Ouch. Though the truth hurts, He is right. This isn't hard. Caring for a people that hate you so much they long to see your blood running down your mangled back, that is hard. Having to banish man from the perfect garden you prepared for him, that is hard. Having to kill an innocent, spotless, lamb You created in order to atone for man's sin, that is hard. Sending Your Son to be born in a stable, knowing that filthy place will be the least of His problems in His life time- that is hard. 
"You're right Father! This is nothing. This is not hard. But it is still heavy!"
"Heavy? Really, Sarah? This is not heavy!"
A deluge of images then rush into my mind: My Savior climbing up Calvary, carrying my cross with the weight of all man's sin on His shoulders. That was heavy. The stones of wrath thrown in anger at Stephen, when his only crime was loving the Lord enough to tell others the hard truth- That was heavy! I then see the teardrops of blood running down my Lord's sweet face as He prepared to take on the weight of the cross, the weight of my sin, and the weight of unrighteousness. That was heavy!
This, my burden, is not. O Lord, my God! How can I say this is a hard, or heavy burden? I pray Father, You help me to see my "burdens" through Your eyes! I pray, You help me to stop worrying and focusing on the power these decisions and situations may have over me and my life! Instead, help me to focus on and trust in Your almighty power, and Your unending grace! 

"And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee:
for my strength is made perfect in weakness.
Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities,
that the power of Christ may rest upon me."
2 Corinthians 12:9

May this ever be my prayer O LORD! That your strength would be made perfect through my weakness! Use me even in my weakest hour Father! Use my burdens to pursue Your will, to help Your cause, to make me useful to You! I may not understand everything right now, I may never, but I pray God will receive all the glory! Through the good, the bad, and the difficult times! 

    Simply,
        Sarah

P.S. The Lord continued to speak with me on this matter this week, so I thought this may be worth adding to this post!
My mother, Leah and I were just in Georgia this week. We took a day to run around and see the town my mother grew up in. We visited her old home, got to take a tour and picture all of the stories she has told us come to life in a whole new way!
We visited my Grandmother's grave. We took my pastor's advice and took some time to meditate and read the head stones. We saw a family, a parent and two children, had all passed on the same day. We also came across two children that had passed. One was four years old, and the second, three weeks old. They were siblings. They died about a year apart and  never had a chance to meet on this earth. What really touched me though, was what the headstone of the second child stated: "God is Gracious and Faithful". Soon after that, I came across a stone with the simple, yet sweet lyrics: "Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus". Even in heartache these people seemed to have faith and trust in the Lord! The Lord spoke to me again saying, " Sarah, you have known no heartache. Not true heartache. " This place was filled with the remains of stories and lives I know nothing of, and yet they spoke to me saying, "This hard! But even when life is hard, you can trust in God! He is still in control!"
We also had a chance to visit dear ol' Aunt Jean. I had never had the pleasure of meeting her before, but, what a blessing this ninety year old lady was to me! Even with alzheimers the Lord used her to speak to my heart again! She told us of some of her hardships and heartaches in her life and later stated, "I've lived a good life. It's been hard, but I don't regret a thing!" She is one of the happiest ladies you will ever meet! Someone who has seen true sorrow, endured true heartache, has the peace of God and no regrets! What a beautiful thing! May we all grow to trust the Lord that way! May our trust in God drive out all doubt, all feelings of uneasiness, and lead us to the peace of God we all too often push away with the cares and worries of this life! 
No, Father, this is not heavy! Gladly I will carry my burdens for Your glory! I choose to lay those that are unnecessary down at Your feet! I praise God for His strength in the hard and heavy burdens. I am utterly thankful that He carried the ultimate burden and that He conquered the task by rising on the third day! O thank You, my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ!

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