Careless Scribbles

I sit here with words and thoughts spinning around in my mind and yet, I seem to be unable to tie them down to a piece of paper. Too many thoughts. So I write carelessly,...

I apologize for the lateness of this post... life happens. The good, the bad, all of it, happens. That is life. A mixture of good and bad, sometimes tasting more bitter and other times tasting more sweet. Sometimes it's hard to determine exactly what you feel about how things are going.

Growing up is weird. Making adult decisions for yourself is weird! Lol! I'm not good at making swift decisions. I never have been! I like to take time to think about the situation in every aspect and from every view and with every possible outcome. So I don't make many rash decisions. This can be a good or even a bad trait of mine sometimes! I just have to learn to know when to use that and when to avoid giving into that habit. For example, standing in line ordering food, would be a good time to avoid that trait! Lol! At this point in my life though, I think it's a good trait to have. At least I try to utilize it to the best of my ability!

I was pretty sure at the age of fifteen that it was in God's will for me to go to college. So, I started making plans, not wanting this to be something I backed out of, or missed out on simply because I took too much time thinking about it! But God had other plans! He used various things and situations to hold me still. He used discouragement, He used anxiety, He used uncertainty, He used opportunities, and He even put people in my path to steer me in a totally different direction! I used to look back on that time in my life and feel saddened, or disappointment all over again, because I never went through with it. But I now realize why! The Lord needed me to see His plan! Not take the first thing off the list and run with it before I had been given all of the instructions! I know now I could not have handled college back then, at all! I was a very weak Christian. Not to say I'm now super spiritual and a wonderfully strong Christian, who has it all together! Ha! I am far from that! But I have found strength in the Lord! I have grown in my walk with Christ! I hope I don't sound prideful, or come across as having a "greater than thou" attitude. I am simply saying I am not where I used to be- by the grace of God!

Sorry I went down a bit of a rabbit trail there! Anyways, where was I? Oh yes! College. You see, the Lord never gave me peace about any of my ideas I sent His way. I never stopped to listen to what He wanted. Sure, I prayed, but I think for a while I forgot that a relationship with Christ is the same as it is with anyone else when it comes to the structure of it. A relationship is never a one way deal! It takes two people to have a relationship. I was talking to God, but not with Him. I hope I'm making sense! I was telling Him what I wanted and asking Him for favors. But wouldn't take time to hear His reply. Until finally, one day at camp the Lord me asked through a sermon to give Him my blueprints for my life. To give Him my plans and aspirations. Reluctant at first, I came to the conclusion that that was best! When I gave the Lord my plans and listened to His will, He closed some doors in my heart. He opened some more, but to show me that peace doesn't come from following your own will, but from accepting God's will as your own! The more I tried to pry doors open, the more the Lord gave me an uncertainty about it all. So, college went on the shelf, and church and church family became a priority in my life. Taking 2 years to be still has turned out to be one of the best decisions I could have ever made. I'm glad the Lord didn't give me peace about school back then. Now, I have applied for school, I am still waiting to see if I receive an acceptance letter! Which makes me feel a bit uneasy posting this! I may or may not get in, but I definitely have peace about applying, about the classes I've chosen, the school I've chosen. I feel as if the Lord placed it in my lap for some reason. I hope you will all pray for me, and with me, as I step out on faith to take this journey! 

Since this is a bunch of careless scribbles, I will be a bit random and state some more of my random thoughts for you! Something I have struggled with in the past was easily becoming bothered by rumors. If you said it to my face, it didn't so much, but behind my back, it would really bother me. But this year, I've learned to not really care anymore. No, no bullying or ugly things have been said. Just simple assumptions are made and spread as if they are fact. The oh so familiar situation of people placing their noses were they don't belong! "Grow up people!" I am tempted to go to them and say! But I've learned it's not worth it! Let them believe a bunch of lies, they obviously want to believe them or else they would've asked me themselves! So just a reminder to you all, don't believe everything you hear! Or even what you think you may have seen! Things can be twisted so easily when taken out of context. Don't fall into that trap. Take fact as fact. Don't assume. Simple as that. Thank you, I'll step off my soap box now! 

I'm going to backpedal a bit here. I was speaking with the Lord this morning as I was driving. Thinking and praying about how I had been feeling stagnant for a while and now I can look back and see the Lords hand on it all. :) As I drove slowly in the stillness of the morning, enjoying the beauty of spring, I passed by a still creek bed, noticing as the trees and colors from above were clearly reflected in the unmoving waters. As I took the time to listen, I heard that still small voice answer, "Beauty is not only found in the rushing, moving, waters, but in stillness." As I write this another thought comes to mind. While we pause in that still part of our life's journey, that is a time of growth. And the Lord can be clearly reflected through us during that time of stillness! Even a still dirty creek bed can look beautiful when it clearly reflects the Maker! That is our true calling, right? To bring glory to the Father in everything we do! To reflect His glory and goodness even through our dirty selves. Whether still or moving! What a blessing that God would use us, even as unrighteous as we are, to show forth His goodness! :) 

I know this was random, but I had an urge to write carelessly. So, I did! Lol! Hope you can find a blessing within my careless scribbles! As always, thanks for reading! Until next time! 

     Simply,

         Sarah


Survey!

Hello everyone!

    Let's do a bit of a throwback, shall we? I used to love doing surveys in my tween years, so why not give it another go? Huh? You guys can learn some oh so random facts about me, and maybe I can have a bit of fun in the process. Also we can get some of the annoying holiday questions out of the way! :) It may be a tad bit juvenile, but here it goes!

1. What is your full name? Sarah Gayle Aulridge
2. When is your birthday? June 25, 1996
3. How tall are you? 4'11"
4. What do you miss? Ethiopia
5. Favorite color? Always changing, but at the moment it is forest green. But I always come back to light pink for some reason.
6. Favorite quote? "What we do in life echos in eternity"
7. Favorite place? Any road in my car :)
8. Favorite food? Open faced sandwishes
9. Favorite movie? The Gladiator
10. Musical group? The John Marshall Family
11. Musical instrument? I take piano, took clarinet, and guitar. I wasn't too keen on the clarinet, but I enjoyed guitar. Just decided to focus on one thing at a time :)
12. First thing you notice in a new person? Honestly, height. lol Then smile
13. Shoe size? 6
14. Eye color? Hazel- Brown and green
15. Hair color? Brown
16. Ever pulled prank? Yes! I love pranks!
17. Favorite song? Currently, "All Along"
18. My current relationship status? Single
19. Favorite holiday? I really like the Fourth of July, but Thanksgiving and Christmas have to be at the top of my list!
20. Do you have/want any piercings? My ears are pierced and that's enough for me.
21. Do you have/want any tattoos? Nope and nope!
22. Last book you completed? The Voice in the Wind
23. The last person you texted? Aunt Dana (One of my many "Mother #2"s lol)
24. How many past relationships? None
25. How long does it take you to get ready? Depends. if I have two hours I might take it! but if I am in a hurry and only have 15 minutes, I can be ready in probably 5 minutes. Granted I may look like I got ready in the dark, but yeah 5 minutes! :)
26. Music at a loud or reasonable level? Loud can be a reasonable level right?
27. Do you enjoy the outdoors? I am not very athletic, but yes I immensely enjoy the outdoors
28. Favorite form of exercise? Hiking or walking/running
29. Do you have any allergies? Possibly gluten, and fall or any other major "transition season" lol
30. How often do you get on Facebook? About twice a week
31. Where do you work? State Farm office as the front desk secretary
32. How many siblings do you have? I have four sisters. Only three at home though. Two as of January though- She's getting married!
33. What was your favorite subject in school? English. I love English! With the exception of my junior year. I hated all school that year. But I probably soaked up more information that year than any other in Writing.
34. What college major would you like to pursue? Oh so many possibilities! Maybe an English Major. That's what I am throwing around right now anyways.
35. Sarcasm? Yes or No? Blahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! No. ( For those of you that don't understand the language of sarcasm, that means yes.)
36. Three of your biggest fears? Falling, rejection, and spiders. In that order.
37. Favorite candy? Peanut butter M&M's
38. Most books read at once? Seven or eight
39. Favorite childhood book? Danny's Dinosaur, Ten apples on top, I'll Love You Forever, Curious George, The Lazy Lady Bug, I Love You, Blue Kangaroo!,... And tons and tons more! ...Okay you get it, my parents read to me a lot as a kid!
40. Favorite childhood movie? Toy story 2, because Jesse is awesome. I am was Jesse!
41. Favorite childhood toy? My Woody doll.
42. Favorite sport? Basketball
43. Place you would like to travel? Everywhere! But I'm probably supposed to pick one. For vacation, Italy. For missions, A jungle somewhere :) Anywhere really.
44. First car? A White 1992 Honda Accord. AKA Stella, yes I name my cars...
45. Favorite season? Summer!
46. Idea of a perfect evening? A rainy day with a mesmerizing book and Ethiopian coffee in hand, cuddled under my favorite quilt
47. Idea of a perfect date? Hiking, and a picnic or stargazing. Nothing big and fancy. Just sweet and simple.
48. Would you like to get married one day? Yes, I would love to!
49. Do you want kids? If so, how many? Definitely! At the very least four. Seven sounds like a good number to me.
50. How long does it take on average to write a blog post? About 2 hours.


I don't know if you guys enjoyed that or not, but it was actually kinda fun for me :)
With thanksgiving and Christmas and mission's conference at my church all being right around the corner, I have decided it best to take a break from my blog for a while. I will not be posting for two weeks. My next post will be on December 13th. I hope you all have a great thanksgiving this week wherever and with whoever you spend it! Happy holidays everyone!


  Simply,
        Sarah 

About Me

     This is the page where I'm suppose to tell you the basics about myself. Thanks for checking it out! I've always had trouble describing myself, as others have as well, I'm sure! But it is a completely different thing when I'm writing!

  I am the second oldest of five girls. No boys. But that doesn't mean I don't have "brothers"! I have "adopted" many "brothers" as time has gone by.

    A good book on a rainy day is quite tempting to me! I also enjoy writing, drawing, and painting. I love quotes. I am also a sucker for new words with deep meanings. I am silently correcting your grammar. I am a quiet person, but once you get me to open up, I will ramble on forever! Especially if you can catch me when I'm super tired or nervous... weird, I know! I love messing around, and making grate cheesy jokes! I love to rattle off useless random facts that no one cares about. New and weird advances in science are exciting to me! I immensely enjoy criminal history. The process of solving a murder case intrigues me. I really like puzzles. Also, designing and decorating is kind of my thing! Crafts are always fun! Coffee is a great weakness of mine- though I don't drink it everyday. A close second has to be peanut butter M&M's. 

  On a serious note, I have dreams of being a missionary one day. Where? I honestly don't know! But, I have had this desire since the age of nine. 

    Though all of this describes me, the most important thing for you to know about me is I love my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ!!! Not only is He my Lord and Savior, but He is my king and my best friend. I hope my blog is a reflection of this fact!

  So much for not knowing how to describe myself... :P

Simply,

   Sarah

Clean Slate

My mom and sister have brought to my attention that I may have been making myself sound like I was a lot worse than I actually was. I promise this was not my intention! I intend to set some things straight today.

Looking back, in my eyes, I was a bad kid. But if we are measuring by this worlds standards, I was a great kid! I've never been involved in drinking, drugs, smoking, or sleeping around.

So what did I do that was so wrong?

I had a rebellious heart. The Bible says that rebellion is likened unto witchcraft. Witchcraft! That's some heavy stuff!

I was selfish in how I chose my friends, and spent my time. In Matthew 16:24 Jesus says, "If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.”  I wasn't interested in denying myself at this time in my life! I thought I could have a few years of fun and then when I turned 24 or so then I would get serious about the things of GOD. But I didn't realize how much of a hold this world had on my heart. It is so much easier to step into the world than it is to step out! You try stepping into a pig pen and then step out! Though you may get out, I don't care how long or little time you were there, you will not be as clean as you were when you got in!

I didn't really care what my mom and dad thought. Hebrews 13:17 says, "Obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves: for they watch for your souls, as they that must give account, that they may do it with joy, and not with grief: for that is unprofitable for you."  Most of my friends were becoming involved in some if not all of the things I just mentioned earlier, but I wasn't. So I deceived myself into thinking I was doing okay. I had placed bad influences all around me and I began to laugh at the dirty jokes and began to tell some of my own. I also began to envy their lifestyles. If not for my parents, and my pastor, I would have been right there with them in all of that mess. I know they had my best interests at heart! I did get involved in ungodly music and movies that only encouraged my lack of respect for authority. I began to desire the things of this world so much, that I would literally hide the music I had been listening to in my room away from my parents. Then I began to not even care what they thought about it and thought, "They'll just have to deal with it." This music made me long for freedom from authority and the people at church that made me feel any guilt at all. I thought about going to a concert with some friends and simply telling my parents we were going shopping. But my friend actually talked me into asking instead, which we both soon regretted because they said no. Now, I am happy that I asked and that was the answer!

 My underage friends and I were going to try to sneak some alcohol into our church camp, but we didn't because we were too lazy to figure out a way to buy it. Oh boy, I'm glad we didn't! To be honest, when it came to anything big, like breaking the law we were all just a bunch of "wanna bes"! Well, most of us were at first, anyway. The "small" sins such as music, and movies became well, small in comparison to what it lead to. By the age of 16 or 17, most of my friends were involved in drinking, smoking, and sleeping around. I didn't know what I believed was a good place to draw a moral line. That is so dangerous! Thank GOD HE never gave me the chance to get into that stuff! GOD gave me enough room to show me what my sinful nature is capable of, but HE didn't give me more than I could handle... Actually, I hate that saying... God does give us more than we can bear, in hopes that we will let HIM bear it for us! And that is what my GOD has done for me!

Remember at this time I was only 13-18 years old. But that is basically all of my teenage years! Wasted. The Bible tells us in James 4:17 "Therefore to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin." That is why I think back with so much regret! All of the knowledge and bible right at my fingertips, poured in one ear and out the other every Sunday morning, Sunday night, and Wednesday night. Think of what I could have been doing for the LORD through those years! Think of all of the missed opportunities! The missed times of fellowship with my LORD. I can't get back that lost time, but thank GOD He can mend that broken fellowship! 1 John 1:9 says, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." I know I will be judged for the things I have and haven't done, but I know I am forgiven through GOD's grace and that motivates me to do better for HIM! Because HE is good!

It all started with an unforgiving heart, to be honest. I became bitter because I was unforgiving and couldn't move on from the past! I made myself a victim! I still have to work on letting go of some grudges, but the LORD has been my strength and continues to work on my heart!

I would like to state that I am not telling you all this in hopes to glorify or justify my sin. I am telling you this to say, even though I didn't have the chance to go very far in the world, I still have regrets and it simply is not worth it. It's not! So please don’t think that a little fun won't hurt or that you will be able to get serious in a few years. It is not that easy! I was blessed to have parents that enforced going to church, and a pastor that helped lead me back to the LORD. Without that, only GOD knows where my rebellious heart would have lead me!

So guys, I’m actually quite nervous about publishing this blog post! But hey, I felt a need to honestly write to guys give you a bit of my testimony. I know I'm not perfect, but when my GOD looks at me, it is not me HE sees. It is HIS SON, CHRIST JESUS! Oh, the Anchor of my soul! My Rock. My Redeemer. My LORD. My KING! My Clean Slate. How I love HIM! Praise be to GOD for HIS all sufficient grace!

Thank you guys for reading! I can't believe how many people actually read my ramblings! If you have something in mind for me to rant about next, leave me a comment below!

Simply,

      Sarah