Growing up can be a tremendous challenge! It is also a huge blessing because it truly does test your faith! My faith has definitely been tested over the past couple of years! In so many ways I can't even begin to tell you! No list today! :) Lately, it has been, well, again, many things! I have been challenged, discouraged, blessed, grateful, impatient, and confused! I have struggled with college decisions, among other things, but one of the toughest struggles about growing up has to be watching your childhood friends choose the path of this world. I cannot tell you how difficult it is to watch the people you love dearly turn their backs on GOD. Either that, or waiting on God to make His will clear, before you move! I have been struggling so much with each of these lately, it has definitely been a challenge! Please pray for me as I go through this phase of life! I sure hope it is only a phase!
I have had plenty of friends come and go over the years. I must say I believe I have some of the best friends in the world right now, even if I don't have many. I'm in a strange stage of life, in that I am only 20 but I feel my closest friends are in their 30s. I do have friends my own age as well, don't worry, but I have found friends in the adult figures in my life. I never expected that to be a possibly. It's a good kind of weird! :)
Why are ye fearful, O ye of little faith?
Then he arose, and rebuked the winds and the sea;
and there was a great calm."
"O ye of little faith..." that is me! I am impatient at times, I am fearful at times. Yet, my God is still in control! How can I fear? How can I struggle with my faith and trust in Him after all this time? I'm human, that's how. I worry. I become anxious. I begin to drown in my own fears that Christ can pull me from if I only ask Him to. My my! How can I? How can You, Father, still love me, as I am weak in faith after all of the miracles and signs You have given me? It is easy to judge the children of Israel for their weak faith in the Lord after all they went through. My God is just as real now as He was then!
Every time I begin to struggle within myself and my soul becomes weary, my sweet LORD softly sings "Be Still My Soul" to my troubled heart. How can I, like the raging sea, not be overcome by a great calm at His soft rebuke? My GOD my GOD! How can I not obey? Lord, I pray that You will still my heart! I pray that I can stand still where you have placed me. Maybe one day you will decide to pull my roots up from here and set me elsewhere, but for now help me to grow where you have planted me!
Growth hurts! This seems to be a theme among a few of my friends lately. Or maybe it just stands out to me because it is the theme of my life right now. I'm not going to act like I have it all figured out, because I don't. I'm not going to act like I have a lot of patience, because I don't. I'm not even going to act as if I am strong in my faith, because at this moment I feel weak. So weak and tired of waiting on God's timing! "When?" I ask. "How long?" "To what purpose?" "To what end?" I don't understand why it can't be now? I then realize, I must sound like a whiny child in the ears of my LORD! How humbling to think of myself in this light! Father, I'm sorry! I don't want to whine or complain! You have given me all I need. How can I ask for any more? I don't deserve what You have already blessed me with! I don't deserve any of it! Help me to trust in You!
"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart
and lean not unto thine own understanding."
The Lord has placed this verse on my heart a lot lately. No, I don't understand, so why try to follow my own understanding? I have none in this situation! I must trust in the Lord with all of my heart! That seems easy until you are placed in a situation in which your trust is tested! I thought I trusted the Lord, and now here I am struggling. Peter comes to my mind at this time. He thought he had faith and trust enough to walk on the water, until he had actually taken that step! I also remember he did walk on water! It was only when he took his eyes off of the Jesus that he began to sink. O my God! Help me to keep my eyes on Thee! I am weak without You.
"In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths"
I know You send challenges to help us grow. Yes, it hurts, but as I continue to hear over and over during this time, "Change=Growth=Growing Pains"! This is time is not in vain. I know this because I know You do have a plan for me! I know You only want the best for me. Please help me to trust in that!
"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you,
saith the Lord, thoughts of peace,
and not of evil, to give you an expected end."
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This quote has been continually on my mind
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Though this wasn't very detailed, I truly would appreciate all of your prayers! I thank you all for reading both my light and heavy hearted posts! May God bless you all! Until next week!
Simply,
Sarah
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