Journal Entry:
Day 7: October 6, 2017
I am often asked, “So, what’s it like in Ethiopia?” “Can you tell me about Ethiopia?” “Do you like it over there?”. Or I’m asked to describe it. Impossible. Well, almost. How do you explain a place you love so much, yet in a realistic light? Yes, I love Ethiopia. It is a great place? Who’s asking? From what aspect? And what is your definition of great? Haha! I will attempt to tell you about Ethiopia in this post. The real Ethiopia. Here is my journal entry from day seven:
This is a strange place. Here it is the people that are confined within walls; not the animals. The walls are meant to keep people and things out, but it is still a bit foreign to me.
Right now, I am sitting outside watching those passing by. A young woman trails behind four donkeys carrying her load; probably water. It is not as easy as turning on a faucet for some people here. The little things we take for granted… When I arrived home last time and washed my hands, I let the water run a bit longer through my fingers as I stood in awe of how easy we have it in America. It is always available, on command. Never do we say “Wooha Yellum!” (Water gone) in America, but here, it is not so uncommon! “What a little thing,” we think! But ah! Tis’ no little blessing!
A small child, maybe two years of age, wanders down the cobblestone street taking in his surroundings. A man, whom I assume to be this child’s father, calls out to me (“Americano!”) as he relieves himself across the street. He feels no shame. The last trip, I saw a man bathing in the sewer water on the side of the main highway. What is normal here, can cause one to turn away in shame and embarrassment.
Trash lines the streets, filling the air with a polluted aroma of soured food, soiled clothes and who knows what. The foul scent of trash mountain lingers over Addis Ababa, within every whiff you take. Over time, the smell seems to lessen, though it is only you becoming numb and used to it. Back in March of this year, there was a “landslide” on trash mountain. Many people died. How? The people lived on trash mountain, surviving off of the waste they found each day. Their houses made from/in the rubbish collapsed on top of them, burying them alive. Now, what was it you hate about your home? What was it you are discontent with?
The house at the end of the road looks to be made of mud and tin. Huge improvements have been made to the restaurant/bar beside it since my last visit. The walls and roof are no longer made of sticks and tarp. The walls look to be made from mud or paper-maché, or both. The roof is now a mixture of tin and tarp. And we complain about having a small house, or having to share a room with a sibling, or not enough lighting to do our makeup and hair… How shameful! The last trip, I visited a mud house with two rooms; a kitchen and a bedroom. The bathroom was out back. Three people; one mother, two daughters. One light bulb, two windows, one double bed. Now, tell me again, what was it you were complaining about?
Yes, Ethiopia is a strange, filthy, poor, and even sad, place. And I hesitate to tell you some of these things, but this is the real Ethiopia! Yet, I still love it! But, why? The Lord has done so much for me here. Not only because of the place but the things the Lord worked in me while I was here. The things He taught and showed me here. I left a huge chunk of myself here last time. I felt like I had shed my skin and started anew once I went home. I feel like a new person. Maybe I am. I sure hope so! I know a lot has changed in me since two years ago. Oh goodness, “bazoo” (many) things!
The place has also changed me. For maybe the first time, I saw people as an ocean of lost souls in need of a Savior, instead of simply a crowd of people. Sure, I have known this all my life, but living in the south where “everyone” knows Jesus and is a “Christian”, it is hard to see them as lost when many of them know the truth but simply don’t yield to it. These people? They live in confusion like I’ve never seen before. They have the gospel laid in front of them, but it is twisted in such a way that makes it difficult to untangle and explain even that simple truth and the gift of God. My heart aches for them. The people showed me what lost truly is. Yes, I was just as lost as they before accepting the salvation of the Lord; but I had the truth handed to me on a silver platter from the time of my birth!
Though I learned many lessons on my last trip, there is still much my Father continues to show me this time around! I’ve come to think of Addis Ababa as my restart button. Last time I stayed, I desperately needed to get away, think, pray, and go back home with a clean slate! The Lord graciously worked it out! This time, I feel as if I am here to remember what is truly important. To prepare for whatever the Lord has next for me, whatever that may be. I am remembering what the Lord did for me back two years ago, and also, how He continues to bless me! My Father is reminding me of His proper place in my life! No matter how high I set Him in my heart and life, if He is not my first priority, I am failing as a Christian. Failing as His child. In all honestly, I have been struggling in this area as of late. Not that He hasn’t been important in my life or even in my heart, it is not that at all! However, many things have been going on in my life these past few months, and I have caught myself distracted from my true purpose on various occasions. Please tell me I am not the only Christian with this weakness!
Having all of this in mind, I also wonder how God could even let me be involved in any purpose He has! Why ask anything of me? I am weak! I am insignificant! I am not important, talented, or useful! “I know. But I Am. My strength will be shown through your weakness. You will be made useful by My talented hands. You will be made important because I am important and I will make you significant by association.”, my Father gently says to me. How great is our God? Too great to be described in words! He is all good! O how I love Him! My Savior, my Friend!
So, what is our purpose? There are lost people even in America, but I had become blind to it. Numb to the calling of God. Maybe you have too. Not called, you say? God placed us where we are for a purpose. Do you truly think that purpose is to grow up, get married, have kids, go to church, go to the store, go to work, and die of old age? Really??? That is not all there is to this life! I’m sorry, but I don’t believe God gets glory just from us not doing wrong. Yes, we can and should live, and not do wrong, but one thing the Lord has been showing me lately is this: Not doing wrong is good, but are you doing right? Living righteously does not consist of only what action we do not take, but also of what action we do take! The Lord gave me this revelation as I watched the Ethiopian people.
So why is Ethiopia special to me? Memories of a tedious growth in the Lord. The patience the Lord gave me through that time of uncertainty, seeking clarity and truth, trying to find where I stood, and hoping to finally set my feet on solid, steady ground. The guiding hand of God so near it was almost tangible for the first time in years! Though the change in my heart did not start in Ethiopia (it started months before), it helped me to solidify and steady myself in my commitments and in my beliefs! He worked on my heart, softening it towards people and towards Him. He placed my beliefs in front of me, and asked me “why?”, changing and strengthening them into what He would have them to be. Ethiopia did not change me. But it was definitely a huge tool the Lord used as He changed me and worked on my heart! That is why I love Ethiopia. My restart button. A mighty tool in the hand of my God. And as He continues to work on me, I am so thankful for a round two in Addis Ababa!
