Clean Slate

My mom and sister have brought to my attention that I may have been making myself sound like I was a lot worse than I actually was. I promise this was not my intention! I intend to set some things straight today.

Looking back, in my eyes, I was a bad kid. But if we are measuring by this worlds standards, I was a great kid! I've never been involved in drinking, drugs, smoking, or sleeping around.

So what did I do that was so wrong?

I had a rebellious heart. The Bible says that rebellion is likened unto witchcraft. Witchcraft! That's some heavy stuff!

I was selfish in how I chose my friends, and spent my time. In Matthew 16:24 Jesus says, "If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.”  I wasn't interested in denying myself at this time in my life! I thought I could have a few years of fun and then when I turned 24 or so then I would get serious about the things of GOD. But I didn't realize how much of a hold this world had on my heart. It is so much easier to step into the world than it is to step out! You try stepping into a pig pen and then step out! Though you may get out, I don't care how long or little time you were there, you will not be as clean as you were when you got in!

I didn't really care what my mom and dad thought. Hebrews 13:17 says, "Obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves: for they watch for your souls, as they that must give account, that they may do it with joy, and not with grief: for that is unprofitable for you."  Most of my friends were becoming involved in some if not all of the things I just mentioned earlier, but I wasn't. So I deceived myself into thinking I was doing okay. I had placed bad influences all around me and I began to laugh at the dirty jokes and began to tell some of my own. I also began to envy their lifestyles. If not for my parents, and my pastor, I would have been right there with them in all of that mess. I know they had my best interests at heart! I did get involved in ungodly music and movies that only encouraged my lack of respect for authority. I began to desire the things of this world so much, that I would literally hide the music I had been listening to in my room away from my parents. Then I began to not even care what they thought about it and thought, "They'll just have to deal with it." This music made me long for freedom from authority and the people at church that made me feel any guilt at all. I thought about going to a concert with some friends and simply telling my parents we were going shopping. But my friend actually talked me into asking instead, which we both soon regretted because they said no. Now, I am happy that I asked and that was the answer!

 My underage friends and I were going to try to sneak some alcohol into our church camp, but we didn't because we were too lazy to figure out a way to buy it. Oh boy, I'm glad we didn't! To be honest, when it came to anything big, like breaking the law we were all just a bunch of "wanna bes"! Well, most of us were at first, anyway. The "small" sins such as music, and movies became well, small in comparison to what it lead to. By the age of 16 or 17, most of my friends were involved in drinking, smoking, and sleeping around. I didn't know what I believed was a good place to draw a moral line. That is so dangerous! Thank GOD HE never gave me the chance to get into that stuff! GOD gave me enough room to show me what my sinful nature is capable of, but HE didn't give me more than I could handle... Actually, I hate that saying... God does give us more than we can bear, in hopes that we will let HIM bear it for us! And that is what my GOD has done for me!

Remember at this time I was only 13-18 years old. But that is basically all of my teenage years! Wasted. The Bible tells us in James 4:17 "Therefore to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin." That is why I think back with so much regret! All of the knowledge and bible right at my fingertips, poured in one ear and out the other every Sunday morning, Sunday night, and Wednesday night. Think of what I could have been doing for the LORD through those years! Think of all of the missed opportunities! The missed times of fellowship with my LORD. I can't get back that lost time, but thank GOD He can mend that broken fellowship! 1 John 1:9 says, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." I know I will be judged for the things I have and haven't done, but I know I am forgiven through GOD's grace and that motivates me to do better for HIM! Because HE is good!

It all started with an unforgiving heart, to be honest. I became bitter because I was unforgiving and couldn't move on from the past! I made myself a victim! I still have to work on letting go of some grudges, but the LORD has been my strength and continues to work on my heart!

I would like to state that I am not telling you all this in hopes to glorify or justify my sin. I am telling you this to say, even though I didn't have the chance to go very far in the world, I still have regrets and it simply is not worth it. It's not! So please don’t think that a little fun won't hurt or that you will be able to get serious in a few years. It is not that easy! I was blessed to have parents that enforced going to church, and a pastor that helped lead me back to the LORD. Without that, only GOD knows where my rebellious heart would have lead me!

So guys, I’m actually quite nervous about publishing this blog post! But hey, I felt a need to honestly write to guys give you a bit of my testimony. I know I'm not perfect, but when my GOD looks at me, it is not me HE sees. It is HIS SON, CHRIST JESUS! Oh, the Anchor of my soul! My Rock. My Redeemer. My LORD. My KING! My Clean Slate. How I love HIM! Praise be to GOD for HIS all sufficient grace!

Thank you guys for reading! I can't believe how many people actually read my ramblings! If you have something in mind for me to rant about next, leave me a comment below!

Simply,

      Sarah

My Worthy GOD

To be honest, today I was simply going to publish a post I had already finished, but I couldn't get peace about it. I don't know, maybe it needs work or after the events of the week it simply didn't seem like the correct rant for the week! Anyway, I'm going to rant a little bit about

 Do you guys realize how blessed we are? I know I take HIS blessings for granted way too often! But HE is good, and continues to shower me with blessings!

Thinking on the past lately (maybe thinking a bit too much, as I often do) , I have started to see not only what GOD brought me from and how far GOD has brought me, but what HE completely spared me from! Instead of focusing on my past mistakes with regret, GOD has been teaching me to look on them with gratefulness!

"You never even had the chance to make that mistake, I spared you from failure."

"Yes, you are a sinner, but you're a saved sinner!"

"I know you have guilt and baggage, let me carry it for you."

"I know you acted like a completely foolish child, but you are still MY child!"

"Yes, you messed up, but I forgave you!" 

"Move on from your past mistakes and failures, I have."

 

My GOD is so forgiving and patient, I cannot fathom why HE cares for me, but as HE reminds me everyday, HE does! If you don't know my GOD, let me introduce you to HIM!

 

HE is my Comforter |John 14:26

He is the Creator |Gen.1-2; Ps. 19:1

He is my Deliverer | 2 Sam. 22:2; Ps. 18:2

HE is our Example | John 13:15

HE is Faithful | Ps. 36:5

HE is my Friend | John 15:13

He is Good | Ps. 118:29

HE is Great | Ps. 48:1

HE is my Guide | Ps. 25:4-5

HE is my Healer | Jer. 17:14, Jer. 33:6

HE is my Hope | Rom.8:24; Titus 2:13

HE is my Judge | Ps.26:1

HE is the King of kings | Rev. 19:16

HE is my Light | Ps. 27:1

HE is Merciful | Ps. 136

HE is all Powerful | 1 Chron.29:11

 

HE is my Redeemer | Psalms 19:14

HE is Righteous | Ex. 9:27

 

He is my Salvation | Ps. 61:6-7

HE is my Savior | Is. 53:5

HE is my Shepherd | Is. 53:6; Ps. 23:1

HE is my Shield | Ps. 28:7

HE is my Strength |  Is. 41:10; Ps. 118:14; Ps.27:14

I could go all day with this list! My God is amazing and Worthy! Wait how could I have left that out?

HE is WORTHY! | Rev. 4:11; Rev. 5:12

Oh my GOD is worthy! There is a bit of a story behind this one I would like to share with you. Last year, around this time I was struggling with my salvation. I wasn't sure how I could be so numb to sin and the things of this world and be saved. I believed in GOD. I never doubted HIS existence. But I did doubt HIS worthiness. I was so bitter at people and even GOD that I doubted HE was even worthy of my praise and worship. How twisted is that? I was messed up! I write letters to GOD (I know its weird, but it helps for me to see my thoughts and prayers on paper), I remember one letter I wrote through that time. I'm paraphrasing, but it said: I don't understand you God! I don't understand how you could let these things happen! I don't understand how you can sit up there watching destruction and sorrow take place in the lives of your people and not do anything about it! I'm glad you had that big compassionate moment on the cross and all, but what about now? Are you done caring?

Well, I was. Bitterness had twisted the way I thought and became so deep in my heart that I still to this day have to work on pulling up some of the left over roots of bitterness. Don't let bitterness control you. It will make you miserable!

At youth camp, Thursday night, I had had enough. I went to Brother Ron and asked him to help me to be sure of my salvation. We went outside and he asked me what I was doubting. I told him I believe GOD exists, but I just didn't know if I thought HE was worthy anymore. Guys, when you don't think or can't see that GOD is worthy of everything we have and more, then you have a problem! Brother Ron talked to me for a bit about salvation. He didn't get a bible out or anything, because I've grown up under that stuff, and I could show him verses on salvation! So he talked about what it is to truly trust and place complete faith in GOD. We prayed and parted ways. I went and prayed some more until I had to go inside. I was so shaken by exhaustion and the Spirit I was literally trembling! I haven't been the same since! I still believe I got saved at the age of five, but GOD did a wondrous work in my heart that night! Yes, I continue to slip every now and then, but I pray I that I will continue to grow and never go back to that! For those of you that are doubting GOD in any way, HE loves you! HE loved you enough to send HIS ONLY Son to die for you! Is HE not worthy of your time? Your life? Your heart? Because that is where it all starts! If you have a heart that is kicking against the pricks, you will be miserable. But if you give your heart to HIM, oh the joy that comes from simply spending a few minutes in the morning or late at night with our LORD! Nothing compares! And this is just the beginning of what HE has in store for us! HE is worthy of our hearts! HE is worthy of our everything!

 HE IS WORTHY!

As always, thank you all for reading! Leave me a comment letting me know what you think I should rant about next! Until next Tuesday!

Simply,

      Sarah   

3 Of My Mother's Biggest Mistakes In My Eyes

First off, before you start judging me for how horrible of a daughter I must be, read the full post! Since Mother's day was Sunday, I thought I would write a special post simply for/about my own mother. This is not what you think Mom! Don't judge a post by its title! I promise! Just don't be mad, until you finish this article. whew, okay here it goes!

1. Guilt

I don't know about all the mothers out there, but my mom has a problem with feeling guilty. She sometimes feels as though she didn't do good enough as a parent. Or she could've done something better. She feels as though she has missed some big mark on the "great mother scale" that i feel all mothers seem to use to down themselves for "not being up to par". This is a huge mistake. My mother has been a great mother! I don't express that enough to her. That scale she seems to measure herself by seems impossible for any one human to meet! But this is one way i know she cares about how well we are growing up. She continues to try to do better, to be better, though i already think she is a pretty awesome mom!

2. Miscalculation of strength

My mom remembers her weaknesses, and sometimes I'm sure she thinks that's how we see her as well. While my mother remembers hard times with regret, we remember how she not only helped us through those times but carried us through them! I can remember times when my mom was worried about many things, but we always knew "Mom's got this". Even through tears and raw (and i do mean raw!!!) emotions, my mom is strong. Much stronger than she gives herself credit for. She has faced things that many people don't know about. Surely some things even I don't know about!

 3. Memories 

My mom also has a problem with understanding the full amount of things we remember about our childhoods. Again, she remembers places where she feels she lacked in giving us great childhood memories. Oh my word, the stories i could tell! I think back to my childhood, I remember laughter and fun and school days being something to look forward to! Yes, we homeschoolers had bad days in school too, but let me tell you a story. I started trying to learn to read at age six, and for whatever reason ( probably how i have over-analyzed everything from birth), it didn't click for me until age eight. Two very long years of  both of us crying over sight words and the alphabet, my mom thought she had to be doing something wrong. But what I remember about those dreary days is that she never just gave up on me. For two years she changed curriculum several times trying to find the best way for me to "get it". She encouraged me to continue trying and told me how smart i was for the weird questions i asked. Never once do i remember her telling me that it was my fault i couldn't get it or that i was slower than my other sisters. That encouraging spirit through those times has stuck with me all these years. Another thing i remember about school, was her huge effort to make it fun! At the time we probably wouldn't have admitted it, but she did make it fun! I remember learning about the many queens of england, and the medieval time period. I remember bejeweling styrofoam balls for the top of our "Queen Elizabeth scepters". I remember learning about the pilgrims and indians. We made headdresses and put face paint on and made our own bows and arrows out of sticks and rubber bands ( we were so cool). We literally sang through English and Math! I could go on and on about how she fed our imagination in school. I think I could tell more exciting childhood stories than most kids. My childhood was awesome!

I write all of this to say this: My Mother is amazing! I wouldn't trade her for anything! No, we don't always see eye to eye on everything (I am pretty hard-headed)! But I do love and respect her. I admire her love, her kindness for others, her strength, her ambition, and her childlike way of dreaming. I always laugh when I catch her dreaming, because I believe that is a trait she has strongly passed on to all of us girls! I think that is a great thing! I love my mom more than words can say. No words or gifts are adequate for the amazing person my mom is! I know I don't say it enough but, thank you for all you do! And I love you Mother! ;)

We are in a time where good mothers are starting become hard to find! So thank you so much to the good mothers out there that truly do put in an effort to be the best they can be!  

I would truly love to hear what you think your mother's most inspiring trait is! Let me know in the comments! And feel free to send this link to your mother! Yes, I know mother's day is over, but is one day really enough? Mother's are who form this nation, and the world! Don't take your mother for granted!  As always thanks for reading! Until next week!

Simply,
       Sarah

15 Things Short People Hear A Lot

Before I start , I would like to let you all know, I do not get my feelings hurt over this stuff. I actually enjoy being playfully teased about my height (or the lack of...) It gives me a sense of belonging and acceptance in a weird sort of way. Standing at the small stature of 4'11" I don't have any room (Yes, I like my puns intended :)) to have a chip on my shoulder when it comes to short jokes. I also joke about it myself sometimes! However, hearing a lot of short jokes, and a lot of the same ones, can become quite tiring! So, I have compiled this list of

"15 Things Short People Hear A Lot" 

1."You're short!" ... Really? You don't say! I have gone 19 years not knowing this crucial fact! So thank you for informing me of this important and life changing information! Plus the politically correct way to say that is "vertically challenged" (hehehe... okay, well, I thought it was funny... Ahem, where were we? )

2. "How's the weather down there?" As if my climate is any different from yours? Well it could be great in a storm, I could stand by and laugh as you get hit by lightning

3. "How can you see over the steering wheel?" Same as anyone else... Just with a little more stretching and seat adjustments...LOL seriously though

4. "You must have a "short" temper!" Yup! But I know how to "contain" myself. Watch out.

5. "It's okay! When you're 40 everyone will think you're 20!" I'm fine with being short! You don't have to tell me it's fine. I know! This honestly usually comes from adults when they mistake me for a 12-15 year old. Sometimes younger. Seriously happens.  BUT there are definitely upsides to this one! Kids meals are cheaper by the way!

6. "Oh sorry, didn't see you down there" Just don't. You see a three year old running in front of you but you don't see me talking to you??? Really?

7. "At least there's not a guy out too short for you!" Maybe not many, but as most girls want a tall guy, I don't want too tall either. When it gets too the point they think I'm the guy's daughter that's just a bit weird for everyone...

8. "You're the perfect height for an armrest!" As they placed their elbow onto the top of my head... Not cool dude. I'm not a lazy boy! Plus I have hair to maintain! Not helping!

9.  "How did you get here?" I drove you idiot! I actually think this is quite funny when people cannot believe I am 19! I've had people come into the office I work in and ask this! Most people think I'm around the age of 14-16 (only people that know I drive think I'm 16)!
"Are you sure you're old enough to drive?" No, but I think so... Of course I'm sure!
"No way! Let me see your license!"  This one can be annoying actually! Once you have gotten to this level of disbelief, I just don't understand how you can't understand that I am just a short person! Plus, you are insinuating that I am lying about my age for whatever reason! I actually don't hear this one a whole lot, because I live in a small town and everyone I hang out with know how old I am. But when I go out of town it is very likely it will be brought up! Just don't do this. Please.
(p.s. I put all of these together because they all have to do with not believing my age. It seemed kind of repetitive to split them up).

10. "Are you trying to look taller? You know, even with those heels you're still short?" No, I'm not trying to look taller. I just happen to be a girl that loves heels! Yes, I know I'm still short! and I don't care!

11. "Well at least it's easy for you to find clothes!" Oh really? Well, there is the problem of things being too big, too long, or too childish... You see I wear a 3/4 in pants so I can also wear a 12/14 in kids. So finding pants without sparkles or butterflies can be hard... I wear about size 5-6 in shoes ( I actually have a pair that are size 4.5 but we won't talk about that... ) So imagine, trying to find "big girl" shoes! Plus, I wear weird sizes in almost everything! Shopping can be hard! But I love to dig through stores such as Ross and Burkes! It's like a treasure hunt :) I may not find much, but what I find is usually worth it!

12. "You're fun size!" Maybe I over think things, but this can come across as a little creepy to me if I don't know you well. Okay, okay! Yes, I over think things! ( If you truly know me, you will know this to be veeerrrryy true! unfortunately, well, maybe not unfortunately. I mean it can be a good trait right? If I was a fast over-thinker maybe! Like MacGyver! Okay, I'm doing it again aren't I? Sorry...)

13. "Can you reach that?" Come on! It's literally right above my head! my range of reach doesn't stop at my head... Or they will ask if I can reach something they can barely reach at the height of 7 foot(Obviously, I'm exaggerating just a tad)! But really???

14. "Did I offend you?" This honesty, I feel should be in this category only because I feel my "shortness" causes people to think I am some fragile creature that can't handle playful jokes about my image. I can actually! As much as it can be tiring to hear these things repeatedly, I feel that you have accepted me in a way. I guess when someone feels comfortable enough to tease me about my height, it feels like we can be friends, because only friends tease each other about their appearance, right? Yes, I know, I'm an odd person!

15."Do you wish you were taller?" No, I don't. This is who I am. Though I used to be uncomfortable with being short, I have "grown" to love it! I think it fits my personality and I wouldn't have it any other way!


Thanks for reading! If you have anything that people have said to you as a short person or even something you may have said to a short person, let me know in the comments below!!! Until next Tuesday!


Simply,
     Sarah
P.s. I found a picture that I thought was completely appropriate for this post. Enjoy :)

Yes! Thank you!

5 Things Fair Skin People Are Tired Of Hearing

Naturally, I have very fair skin. I used to hate it. but I am learning to be comfortable in my own skin. Every now and then I think of trying a tanning lotion (like I said, I'm learning!), because this time of year especially, I feel like I stand out like a sore thumb! It can be hard to be comfortable with something that isn't embraced in todays society. It seems hardest this time of year when a lot of people have nice olive tones already with minimal sun exposer. I recently read a blog  http://www.foreveramber.co.uk/things-people-with-pale-skin-are-sick-of-hearing about this very topic, and found I relate and have so many more things I could add to her list! So why not make my own post about it?

5 THINGS  FAIR SKIN PEOPLE ARE TIRED OF HEARING 

1. Trying to "make it better"

Anything that falls under this category, we hate. Don't try to "fix" us. We aren't broken.

I hear things like :

 “I have some great tanning lotion you should borrow. You’ll look great once you get done using it!” Thanks… Do I not look "great" now? No? Okay...

 2. Fashion Advice

Maybe I just don't like people telling me what to and not to wear, but this is one that comes up a lot more than you would think! I don't wear anything I think to be immodest, but I would like to think I could wear short sleeves, or skirts that show my shins without getting "the look" or fashion advice. Even some colors are a problem.  

“That isn’t you’re color.”

“That washes you out/makes you look sick. Just don’t wear that.”

" Nude tones and taupe like colors just don't go with pale skin."

“You should wear long pants/skirts, you’re blinding me!” Umm… good.

3. Protection

I know most of these people mean well but some of it comes across as plain ol' rude. This one really gets to me.

"Don't forget sunscreen!"

"Isn't it about time to reapply sunscreen?"

"Don't forget your scalp!"  I ALWAYS have people reminding me to use sunscreen...

"Are you sure you want to wear that to swim in? You're going to be toasted by the end of the day!"

"Remember your grandmother probably didn't think she was going to get burnt either!" (My grandmother died of skin cancer before my mom and dad were together, so I’m always reminded about the dreaded skin cancer. I don’t make light of cancer at all, but I do get tired of hearing about my grandmother to promote the use of sunscreen.) Yes I understand I can’t have long exposer to the sun or tanning bed (FYI I never have used a tanning bed, and never plan to.) So do people really have to bring up my grandmother every time I go swimming, hiking, outside etc…?

People, I’m almost 20. I know!

4. Stating The Obvious

This is just annoying for obvious reasons. Obvious facts = Annoying.

"Wow! you're white!" For a completely random example: Who likes it when someone says: "Wow! you have nose!"? Though this may sound very silly, because of course you have a nose! Exactly my point! It simply isn't necessary, I KNOW! Plus, even though it is true, you do have a nose, you become self-conscious of your nose simply because the fact was stated like it was a bad thing.

" Look how much darker I am than you!" this one is VERY common! I don't take as much offense to this as I do some other things on this list because almost everyone does this! And it isn't just with fair skinned people like myself. But I didn't enter the tanning contest, therefore yes, I am much lighter than you. Though it doesn't offend me, it is kind of annoying at times because it is so common.

5. Not Understanding/ Pushing Change

People not understanding or pushing us to try to change our skin tone is probably the most annoying of all! Simply because we don't want to have to explain or change ourselves.  We shouldn't have to!

“I’m sure if you tried to tan you could! Everyone can! ” I can’t tan. Believe me! “Why not?” *Mental face palm*

"There are products that help you to tan naturally, I'm sure you can find something to work for you."

"But you would look so pretty with a tan!" Again, it seems you're implying that I don't look pretty already. Thanks...

" You were in Africa for three and a half months but didn't get a tan? Did you stay inside the whole time?"

A lot of things that people say, seem like your fair skin cause them to be uncomfortable. That shouldn't be. Why would you be uncomfortable with MY skin? If I'm happy, then that's all that matters! If I'm not, then DON'T feed my self-consciousness of my skin!

People also seem appalled when I say or act as if I don't mind my fair skin. How on earth could I be okay with that? IDK but this is who I am. This is how GOD made me, why change that? Did he make a mistake? I don't think so. The only mistake is people not accepting the different ways GOD chose to create people. Black to fair skin, tall to short, brunette to blond. GOD chose to make all of us different! Why strive to be the same? 

Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed my ranting! If you have some THINGS FAIR SKINNED PEOPLE ARE TIRED OF HEARING  please let me know in the comments below! Thanks again! Until next time! 

Simply,

      Sarah